Perfect
by Oceanbreeze7
Summary: Oneshot: IRON MAN 3 SPOILERS: "You're living, you're not…not-" "Fixed?" "Is that what this is about? You just…gave up? We could have gotten you help! We could have hel-"But Pepper, I am helped! it's fixed, it's perfect I-""You think it's fixed? You think that you were a mistake?""Well, I-" "No Tony, you were perfect before this-"


**_WARNING FOR IRON MAN 3_**

**_Okay, i watched the movie earlier today(yesterday) (around 6 or so, it's 1 in the morning right now) and i was...severly, dissapointed._**

**_I have a few issues with it, i'm not going to rant on and on, but my main one was that Tony should have gotten the Extremis, not Pepper._**

**_Yes, i see how it was important, but at the least he SHOULDNT HAVE TAKEN OUT THE REACTOR! That's the logo for Iron Man! Gah!_**

**_Anyways, this is my idea of Tony injecting himself._**

**_Enjoy, and review!_**

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In all honesty, finding a cure for Pepper wasn't that hard.

The Extremis virus was still running full force, rampaging through her blood with little issue, moving along as quickly as any cell, slipping in and glowing a bright golden orange amongst the Erythrocytes, or Red Blood Cells.

It was pulsating, living and thriving amongst her body, gaining a small spark of electricity naturally generated by her heart's pacemaker in Left Ventricle, before continuing on, regulating the natural structures of the body and making sure they were still in working order, able to travel upon all cells and casually recreate them with the small Extremis chemical that was mixed among the Cytoplasm of the cell, refueling it if any injury occurred.

Tony had realized quickly enough, that Pepper's glowing and fire abilities started once her hormones ran wild out of anger, a chemical releasing and mixing with the Extremis to create the glowing power, the chemical directed by her brain's signal.

It was _genius._

Pepper never experienced a nightmare after the incident, she never felt saddened or depressed, the Extremis gently removing the imbalance of chemicals. It worked easily, fixing even the _mind_, healing the small imbalances of growth, destroying any mental issues or makeup. It turned the brain into a computer, a computer with _programming._ A computer that wouldn't have the disabilities, or the issues that a mortal brain would because it _wouldn't._

All Tony needed was to isolate the Extremis in her cells, take it and cause it to become the potent being in her cell's cytoplasm. Then, he simply found a chemical compound that destroyed the virus without infecting and harming the other cells or original cytoplasm.

He never told Pepper that he had (re)created Extremis while finding her a cure.

A few weeks later once she was fire-free and normal as ever, he _still _couldn't sleep. He awoke nearly every time he slept by Pepper's urging after once again closing his eyes and _seeing the darkness, oh god it's so dark and so cold, I can't breathe, I'mdying-_

After a while, he just…_didn't_ sleep anymore.

He hid the fact he couldn't sleep. He covered up the fact by moving to Avenger's tower, moving Dummy into the lab once smiling at all of the sad tearful encounters, the hugs and the apologizes at not being around when he was declared dead.

It took a while and countless quips and smirks, countless insults and a dismissive meeting that Tony used to simply insult Fury until he left.

He had taken the Quinjet back, wincing and yearning for a time where he could have just flown back. Nobody questioned, just thinking that he hadn't had time to create new suits, since all of his were…'destroyed in battle.'

He created new weapons, new sleeker guns and new arrows for Clint and Natasha in the moments of the night where he _should_ have been sleeping.

He looked over new plans, creating new forms of technology for Stark Enterprises, new inventions and new plans for SHIELD bases. He created new programs, fixing Dummy and upgrading both Dummy and You until they had worked out ever motor kink.

He battled in the foolish idiots that tried to take over Manhattan just like every other mad man. Mutants and others seemed to _like _to target Manhattan actually, finding them a…challenge, perhaps?

There were nights when Clint or someone made a quip on the field, Tony swallowing back his panic while they made a reference, _'Really? Another mutant? Well, at least we're not facing an army, I'd hate for you to go up in another endless wormhole, eh Tony?'_

He had managed to only choke in response, movement not hitching as he heard silent screams, silent explosions in his eye as he felt like he was _choking…_

There was one time, when he was in his lab, Clint walking down out of curiosity when Tony was ordered to dismantle one of the Chitauri's surviving weapons and figure out how it worked.

Clint had smirked as Tony cussed, the weapon firing and Dummy whirring in annoyance as the shot nearly hit the robot. Clint then muttered something about the battle, looking at Tony while he worked, actually asking out of the blue 'Hey, what was that portal like anyways? Not every one of us can travel into space.' Clint laughed.

Tony paused in his tinkering, giving a small fake laugh and gave a shrug, 'Eh, not really sure. Blacked out once I went in.' He shrugged. Clint sighed before vanishing upstairs.

Tony crumpled in a nervous heap, eyes closed frantically as he trembled, _'So dark- I can't breathe, oh god, I'm going to die, oh god-'_

It had taken him a few hours to calm down enough, wishing that this would just _go away-_

He was injured in battle, having frozen while some twisted idiot had flaunted about his EMP blast, hitting Tony who not only has visions of _'I'm sorry Sir, the suit has insignificant power-'_But also when a hot metal blade sunk into his leg.

It had severed several important Tendons and nerves, causing Tony to be forced to stay in bed as his left leg refused to operate.

He had laid there, not working- a _cripple,_ watching with no emotion as his Physical Therapist tried again and again to cause him to stand up on the unresponsive leg, it buckling under his weight and he was sprawled on the ground.

Pepper had spoken to him, eventually after a few weeks of the pitying looks he was able to stand on it, using a AI cane linked to Jarvis as they walked around.

He was in his lab, not looking at anything as he just…_sat there._

"Hey Tony? We're…going out- Fury called a mission…" He heard Bruce, awkwardly state as the scientist left, walking upstairs and leaving Tony alone in his home.

He had gone through _so much._ He was alone- he was…he was-

_'Pepper! Hang on!'_

_'Sir, suit energy is diminishing, he are now running on backup power.'_

_'He's not slowing down!'_

He closed his eyes, slamming his head onto the table over and over. The more he hit his head, the more the poisonous thoughts diminished.

Eventually, sobs wracked through his body, You and Dummy wheeling over in concern while Tony tried to stand and walk towards his alcohol rack, stumbling as his one leg refused to work, causing him to stumble and _then,_ the pure _black, the suffocation-_

Jarvis had gotten concerned enough to call Steve, stating that Tony had collapsed, as he was _not_ under any circumstances to say anything about his health.

The group had finished up, Bruce traveling to the lab and looking at Tony, who by that time had passed out. The other man taking Tony to bed, thinking it was exhaustion. Bruce had left before the trembling and the muttered words, then the screams and choked sobs.

He had awoken at night, seeing the dark and feeling the trembles, trying to rise but feeling tied down, aching pains in his leg as he struggled to stand, collapsing to the ground as he stumbled for a light.

The next morning, he smiled and acted like a normal person because _he wanted to be_, and nobody knew the better.

That night when everyone was asleep did he move towards his special area in the back of his lab. The small knick knack shelf that held several things Bruce didn't dare touch.

He opened the small box, pulling out the small vial and injection needle that held the slightly glowing liquid that looked more like lava then any sort of medical liquid.

_'Sir-'_

"Mute." He stated, pulling the liquid and the small medical box filled with a tourniquet and several other medical equipment, everything he'd ever need if he ever…_did it._

He sat there nearly all night, staring at the liquid and turning it in his hands, noticing how the orange liquid changed color, like fire itself.

_'Sir, I'd highly advise against what you're thinking.'_

"I thought I put you on mute?" Tony muttered, gently putting the equipment back into the metal box, sliding a small fingerprint lock on the latch, moving it to a corner of his desk.

The next night when he awoke screaming, back arched and sobbing once more, making his way down to the lab with only a slight nod to Steve who was making pancakes.

Tony sat and stared at the liquid, Jarvis this time alerting someone upstairs who came down with a breakfast platter. Normally bringing food was Pepper's job, but since she was gone in Austria, the duty fell upon Bruce.

"What's that?" Bruce asked, looking at the thing Tony was looking at, causing the man to look up tiredly.

"Tony?" Bruce asked, noticing now the deep bruising under his eyes, noticing the paleness of the other's skin and the weight loss.

"Hey, are you okay? You don't look well." Bruce stated, setting the platter down while looking at Tony who gave a slight sigh, setting the odd liquid in the box and clicking it close.

"I'm fine."

"No Tony, you don't _look-"_

"I can't sleep." Tony spoke softly, causing Bruce to look at him sadly.

"Well, you could always get medicine to help." Bruce offered, causing Tony to give a slight shrug as he closed his eyes, hands supporting his head.

"It-it _doesn't._" Tony muttered, eyes flashing to the silent explosion, the _cold-_

"Every time I..Try, it's…oh god, it's that freaking _wormhole."_ Tony spoke, voice cracking as Bruce looked at him, instantly concerned and dropping next to Tony who now pulled his knees to his chest.

"Hey- _hey,_ look, it's okay. We're all here." Bruce spoke softly, and Tony just shook his head, looking away.

"I want it _gone. _I want- I want this _fixed, _like _before _that stupid invasion-"

"Tony, if a cure to Anxiety existed, we'd have it by now. I'm sorry, but I can't help you." Bruce sighed, rising after a few moments where Tony just sat there and stared at the wall.

Bruce rose, walking from the lab and up the stairs, casting one last look at Tony before shaking his head.

_'I got low…I didn't see the end, so I put a bullet in my mouth.'_

_'That's an end.'_ Part of Tony's mind whispered, and Tony brushed his hand against his numb leg, forcibly pushing it to a more manageable position as he looked at the metal box.

He looked at the Extremis once more.

x-(X)-x

_"Avengers? Get your ass into battle! Rogers, watch your back!"_

Tony stared, looking at the camera he hat fit on the Com. Unit of each device in each ear. He watched mutely as Steve was struck by a robot, the machine cackling as Steve was thrown into a wall.

_'Extremis repairs all damage. It fixes a person until they reach peak performances, rejuvenating all injured cells into a perfect body.' _Tony thought quietly, looking at the chemical in his hands as he felt something akin to hysteria rise in his head, sobs breaking through once more.

_"You're back Widow- Hawkeye! Widow is down! I repeat, Widow is down!"_

_"Cap. I can't get over there! They're on me, I can't shake them!"_

_"Hang on Hawkeye, I'm coming!"_

_"No! Get Widow! Go!"_

Tony closed his eyes, silent sobs as he fumbled for his phone, grabbing it with shaking hands.

_"Sir?"_

"Pepper." He choked out, holding his phone in one hand while he held the orange glowing liquid in another hand while he was trying to keep the flashbacks at bay.

_"Hello? Tony?"_

"Pep." Tony muttered, voice shaking as Pepper paused on the other line.

_"Tony? Tony, talk to me, what's wrong? Are you okay?"_

"I kept it." Tony spoke, voice cracking while Pepper paused once more.

_"Tony? Tony what is it, what did you keep?"_

"E-Extremis. I- I _can't do this."_ Tony muttered, hand shaking as he pulled his sleeve back, holding it with his teeth.

_"You kept it? What are you talking about? Tony, Tony!"_

"I can't live with this anymore. I- the, I _can't _sleep, I can't _breathe-"_

_"Tony stop, we can get help. We can do this together, okay? Calm yourself, slow breaths, okay?"_

"I'm sorry." Tony spoke, his voice cracking as he hung up, the roar of Chitauri in his ears as he grabbed the tourniquet, pulling tightly as he grabbed the orange glowing liquid, filling the needle before with little hesitation plunging it in his skin.

_It burned_, It hurt in a way that Tony couldn't believe and he stumbled, hand reaching out for something when his mouth opened in a soundless groan.

Dummy sped over, helping Tony who stumbled, pulling the empty needle from his arm as he stumbled, Dummy practically dragging him.

"Suit." Tony spoke, voice a wraps as Jarvis paused.

_"I'm sorry Sir but you destroyed all suits." _Jarvis spoke, his voice distorted slightly, possibly in panic.

"No- model." Tony choked, Dummy whirring in understanding as the fake model opened by Jarvis and Tony moved in, the model clamping shut around him just as his back arched in a soundless scream. He briefly looked down, through his shirt he could see a glow forming from his shoulder and spreading as his mouth opened, a soundless scream of agony as the orange spread, agony shifting along and through his blood.

_It burned._

x-(X)-x

"Avengers, report." Fury nodded, looking at each of the Avengers after the battle.

Clint rolled his head, looking at Fury with a slight scowl, a large bruise forming along the man's cheekbone from where the robot had given him a nasty punch.

"There were twenty robots, tiny, and annoying. They swarmed, knocked us down, then the Hulk tore them apart, done." Clint muttered under his breath, wincing as his arm brushed the tiny cuts that spread across his sleeveless arm, the tiny claws having made a purchase in the skin.

Fury rolled his eyes, looking at Steve who was looking rather ruffled, suit torn in several places and a burn healing.

"Sir, robots of unknown origin attacked. Due to Thor's presence in Asgard and the…permanent lacking of one team member, we were unable to stop the threat sooner." Steve nodded, while Widow gave a nod, skin pale from when she had been knocked unconscious.

Bruce sighed, frowning as his phone went off rather loudly.

"You going to answer that, Doc?" Clint asked with a frown while Bruce pulled it out clumsily, placing it on the table and automatically on speaker phone, stating loudly, "I don't get calls from anyone besides the team, Tony and SHIELD." He muttered, turning the phone on answer.

"Hello?"

_"Doctor Banner? I must ask for your assistance hurriedly."_

"Jarvis?" Clint asked in surprise, Natasha looking over with a lifted eyebrow.

_"Greetings Lady Natasha, I assume that during these circumstances, you are present at the SHIELD base?"_

"Correct." Fury spoke, looking at the phone which didn't hesitate.

_"Then I'd highly advise you to hurry to the Avenger's Tower at this time."_

"Why?" Bruce asked confusedly. Clint giving an agreeing nod.

_"Sir has potentially harmed himself a great deal."_

"What?" Natasha asked, jerking upright and wincing as her head spun.

"What are you talking about?" Fury growled standing as the phone was taken with them as they hurriedly walked towards a Quinjet.

_"I assume you know of Mrs. Pott's current status after the incident of the Mandarin?"_

"The Extremis? Yes, we've heard about it and have reports, although we had not had complete proof until Pepper Potts returned and was cured by Stark." Fury nodded.

_"To achieve the cure, Sir had to create the Extremis virus then use several chemicals to create an antidote."_

"So? He cured Pepper." Clint asked, confused while they made their way to a Quinjet, Fury nodding to the staff to de attach it from the base.

_"Sir created the Extremis virus."_

"He created i-" Bruce's eyes widened. _'The liquid that Tony had in the vial? The glowing orange liquid, that was Extremis?'_

"Wait, he _has _the Extremis?" Fury growled, Clint moving towards the controls of the jet as they lifted off.

"Where is Tony now?" Natasha asked calmly, and Jarvis waited a moment.

_"Sir is currently inside a model of the Iron Man suit."_

"So he's working on the suit again. That's nice, he must have found some way to fix his leg." Natasha hummed while Jarvis was quick to answer.

_"No. Sir has currently locked himself within a model of a suit, not an operational suit."_

"So he's just…_in_ a suit?" Fury asked with a confused frown while Steve looked at the phone in confusion, "Why would he be in a suit?" Steve questioned.

_"Sir has infected himself with Extremis."_

The air in the Quinjet got dangerously quiet, while Bruce spoke quietly, "What?"

His phone started beeping, causing him to frown and see Pepper also calling his phone.

"Jarvis, can you change the feed to the jet while I talk to Pepper?"

_"Already done, Dr."_

"Okay, Hello?" Bruce asked, noticing how Clint sped up their speed.

_"Bruce! It's Tony- he, he called me, and he-he was breaking down and-"_

"You talked to Tony?" Bruce asked, jerking upright while Pepper on the other side obviously sobbed in confusion and fear.

_"I-I think he still has Extremis! I think he is trying to infect himself with it!"_

"We know, Jarvis called us. We're on our way." Bruce nodded, Pepper handing up as the Quinjet landed.

They rushed down, Jarvis opening the doors without any commands, the group rushing into an elevator while it plummeted quickly, moving towards the lab.

They exited the doors, rushing into the labs and through the lab, where Dummy and You were frantically looking around, rolling around and unsure of what to do.

Bruce rushed to Tony's desk, seeing the metal box which had been knocked to the floor, he flipped it, looking for the countless things- the tourniquet was missing, and the needle was lying on the floor several feet away, the tip coated in blood, while the vial had been shattered, the liquid drained.

"Oh god." Natasha whispered, Bruce lifting his eyes to see the small fake suit standing proudly in the corner, the eye slits glowing an orange while the suit itself seemed to have a faint glow, as if burning.

"Tony? Tony! Open this thing!" Clint shouted, the man banging on the shell before recoiling with a hiss, looking at his fist which had a slight burn on it, he glanced at the shell in amazement.

"Stark? Can you hear me? Damn it! How the hell does this thing work?" Fury cursed, pulling a gun from his hip before hesitating- he couldn't shoot or he'd hit the man inside.

"Jarvis?" Natasha asked, voice low as she tried not to hit the shell herself.

_"Sir has been unresponsive for twenty minutes, exactly half an hour since injecting himself. I am afraid that I cannot open the suit, in fear of vitally harming yourselves or the infrastructure of this building." _Jarvis sincerely sounded worried while Clint cursed, pacing around the lab while Bruce swallowed, Natasha's eyes narrowing while Steve looked at the shell almost longingly.

"Jarvis, call Rhodes." Natasha nodded, the group looking at her in slight understanding while Bruce swallowed, sitting down and holding his head in his hands.

_"Hello?" _A voice filtered over the speakers.

"Is this Colonel James Rhodes?" Natasha asked coolly, a slight pause before the voice continued.

_"It is. I assume you are the Black Widow? Not many people can use Tony's private calling number and are females, besides Pepper, of course."_

"Of course…we're calling on regards to your knowledge of Tony and the Extremis virus incident two months ago." Natasha spoke, and the phone line was slightly quiet, like before.

_"I will say what I know. The Extremis virus allowed the hosts to heal from any injury, although they exploded on several occasions. They were fast, heightened senses and able to control high temperatures, I saw one breathe fire."_

"The Extremis heals injuries?" Bruce asked, looking at the glowing shell with slight questioning.

_"That I understood. I don't know if it is only physical though, Mr.…?"_

"Banner, Bruce Banner." Bruce nodded, the phone conversation seeming to lighten up slightly.

_"Ah, I've heard about you from Tony. How is he, by the way? Is there an issue?"_

"It's Tony…he's…" Natasha branched off, not exactly sure as to what to say.

_"What? What has he done now?"_

"He re-created Extremis, and infected himself with it." Bruce sighed, looking at the glowing machine.

It was silent on the other line before Rhodes seemed to explode.

_"What? Are you sure? Is he insane! Tony, he-I- Pepper was forced against her will! There is no way he'd willingly turn into one of those creatures!"_

"You'd better come over then, Mr. Rhodes. We're unable to talk to him, he's shut himself inside a suit which appears to be…heated, by an unknown source."

_"…I'll be right over. Have you told Pepper?"_

"Yes."

_"Good, just…god, I'll be there."_

x-(X)-x

Tony opened his eyes.

It was dark, somewhere in his mind he knew that he _should_ be panicking over the darkness, or that the air felt thick and mucky, although he didn't. He was calm, he _felt _calm. More calm then in months, actually.

He shifted, his arms apparently stuck in a position as he realized he was in a suit- a shell or a model as he hadn't built any suits.

"Jarvis, open the suit." Tony commanded, clearing his voice a few times as it felt odd in his throat, and he gave a few small coughs to get used to the feeling.

The suit obediently opened up, and he stepped out into the air, blinking in surprise as he looked at his skin, noticing as a thin orange glow traveled up it in quick succession, before fading into his natural skin color.

He stepped out with his left leg, and the muscle held, allowing him to walk forward.

A small smile lifted upon his face as he did so, walking around in a way he hadn't been able to since the original Extremis release. He felt a small careless laugh bubble from his lips as he continued to walk around his lab, running a hand through his hair as he looked around, almost rejuvenated.

_"…Sir?"_

Tony looked up, seeing You and Dummy whirring slightly…afraid, in the corner. Even Jarvis' voice was hesitant as he blinked, looking at the lab in slight confusion.

"Guys? What's wrong?" He asked, a slight frown as he took a step forward, the two bots whirring again and shifting backwards.

"Freeze." He heard, turning his neck to see the Avengers, _dressed_, and looking at him.

He didn't move, seeing Clint pointing an arrow at him, and Natasha's guns. He had seen Killian survive more than just a bullet or an arrow, and if everything went according to what it _should be_, he'd be fine.

"Guys-" He started before Natasha cut him off with her cool and collected voice, "You are not to move."

He paused, looking at Steve who had his shield at the ready, and the wary but nearly terrified Bruce.

"I-I don't understand." He frowned, brows furrowing as he moved a step, jumping back as Natasha fired a warning shot, causing Tony to freeze.

"If you are to move another step, I will not hesitate to shoot, do you understand?" Natasha asked, completely calm while Tony stared, swallowing with confusion.

"I don't understand- what are you doing? Bruce, tell her to stop this, come on Cap, what are you doing?" Tony asked, Dummy chirping loudly from his corner.

"Tony- we, we don't _know_ what Extremis is…I-we can't trust you right now." Bruce spoke, having to turn as he let out a low breath, retreating as his skin flashed green.

"I-" Tony tried once more, only to be cut off by Jarvis.

_"Ms. Potts has arrived, she is on her way towards the lab."_

_"Pepper _is here?" Tony is asked, voice rising slightly in disbelief while Steve opened his mouth to respond, Clint cutting him off, "Don't talk to it."

_"It?" _Tony asked, blinking in dumb surprise before he heard the loud clipping of shoes on stone, face paling as he recognized the sound, "Oh no."

"Tony? Natasha, put down that gun right now." Pepper commanded sternly, the red haired woman obeying as Pepper opened the door, walking in with a serious frown on her face.

"_What_ on _Earth_ were you _thinking?" _She shrieked, and Tony flinched looking away.

"I- It wasn't _working_ I-" He recoiled in shock, face stinging at the force of her slap.

He heard her take a step back and weapons be lifted as he looked up, a distorted reflection from one of his metallic surfaces showing his left cheek glowing orange like a fire before the skin healed, fixing itself.

"Oh god, you actually did it." Pepper breathed, and Tony casted a look.

"Pep, I-"

"You willingly turned yourself into a monster." She spoke, voice terrifyingly quiet and calm while Tony looked at Pepper in shock.

"I-"

"You know, I thought you'd understand that it wasn't a choice, when you cured me. That Extremis _never _should have been created." She sighed, brushing a strand behind her ear.

"Pep's! List-"

"_Why?_ Why did you just…throw away everything you had? You just turned yourself into a _machine, Tony!_ You're a human, not a robot! You're living, you're not…not-"

"Fixed?" He asked quietly, and Pepper stilled, looking at him with some sorrowful look in her eye.

"Is that what this is about?" She asked quietly, obviously referring to his issues. "You just…gave up? We could have gotten you help! We could have hel-"

"But Pepper, I _am _helped! It's gone! No more, anxiety attacks, no more sleepless nights or those days when I'm afraid I'm going to summon an armor- it's _fixed_, it's _perfect_ I-"

"You think it's fixed?" She asked quietly, looking at Tony, her eyes glistening- _a tear_, "You think that you were a mistake?"

"Well, I-" He was cut off once more as Pepper shook her head, something akin to a sob pushing past her lips.

"No Tony, you were _perfect _before this-" She turned, one hand dabbing at her eyes as she rushed from the room, the other Avengers already having left.

Tony turned, looking into the reflection of the metallic surface.

His eyes glowed red and slowly, so did his hand.

_No._ He mentally whispered to himself, trying to forget how _awful_ the nightmares had been, the fear that going to sleep would make him hurt someone. The panic attacks, the fainting, the shaking and trembling, the flashbacks and the stumbling around-

This was _much better_.

They just hadn't seen it yet.

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**Review! **

**~Oceanbreeze7**


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